Monday, January 14, 2008

"Whatever works" is not a free pass for cruelty

"Whatever works" is a favorite parenting and teaching mantra--because nobody's perfect, life's complicated, and sometimes you find yourself doing the less-than-ideal thing in dealing with kids. Here are some appropriate (invented but plausible) uses of the phrase, in my view:
  • "I let Leo bring a book to my cousin's tedious wedding reception, so he'd at least be quiet and have a decent time. My cousin was annoyed with me, but whatever works, right?"
  • "Okay, so I had to dress like a clown and sing a ridiculous song, but every kid in that class will remember what pi is, from here forward. So, whatever works!"
Note that in these instances, the risk and embarrassment were undertaken by the adult--not inflicted by an adult on a child. Note that "whatever works" isn't used as an excuse for humiliating a child, abusing a child, or causing a child unnecessary pain of any kind. Because ends can't justify those means--no ends--not ever--not with any child. "Whatever works" is not a free pass to be hurtful, cruel, or insensitive to another's pain. Who raised, and who taught, the officials who believe otherwise?logo

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